They're Golden and Crispy - we bought a team!

Michael Jordan, Mark Cuban and now my good self, Coach Clueless. What do we all have in common? Well we've all bought a sports team! And since I've spent the equivalent of the price of a pub schnitzel on mine, I think it's only fair the team name proudly points to that fact.

So welcome to: The Crispy Golden Schnitzels!

Yes I've scoured the auctions, potted through the sales and in every case taken a red hot random gamble but today I've nailed the final five. It took a while to figure out the how (a lengthy process of buying cryptocurrency ETH and then waiting for it to land into my account) but once we got past that, well it was an open market ready to explore and bid (very low) on.

And so let's meet the Golden Snittys!

Naoki Hara - MID

It all started with Hara. Once the funds cleared and I was given the green light to run absolute riot on the auction front, Hara was the first to come along and tick all the boxes, which were: Limited card (1 of only 1000 and the next level up from the cards that make the Fajitas which are all common), affordable (we're not playing with millions here) and under the age of 23 (so we can enter the Under 23 competition). Unfortunately it's only after I bought him did I realise he hasn't played for the last 15 games. Oh dear. Still, he might be worth a house buy one day so welcome to the team Naoki!

Number: 172/1000

Price when bought: 0.0007 ETH 

A huge fan of playing Tyranids in Warhammer 40,000, Naoki can often be seen hissing like a genestealer when the ball doesn't come his way. When not playing, he's usually plotting which planet to send the hive fleet to next.

William Sands - DEF

He's young, cheap and has turned up to at least one game in the last 15 so that's a terrific start to our latest Crispy Schnitzel. Hopefully he gets a little more excited than he looks come game time and defends against...eh....the things that need to be defended!

Number: 106/1000

Price when bought: 0.0007 ETH

In 2017 he embarked on a great journey across the Sahara desert to find himself. However he quit that attempt just 20 minutes in because it was 'Well dull mate' and buggered off to the pub instead.

Shunta Araki - FWD

He's played in the last 15, he's even played in the last 5 games too which makes Shunta a rarity in this rookie team so far, someone who actually gets picked to do something. We're sincerely hoping that this trend continues because the more points he racks up, the more chances we have of winning Limited cards which we can then sell and buy lots of Lexus's with. 

Number: 162/1000

Price when bought: 0.0007 ETH

Quite the amateur mechanic, Shunta's current project is putting a Mazda 13B rotary engine into...a 1JZ-GTE engine...into a LS1. How this is going to work is anyone's guess but he's quite happy with his engine version of a turdurkan so far. 

Yuji Katajima - MID

Wait, another midfielder? Yes, just so I can have someone to slot into the 'Extra' card section when I pick the squad. Plus he was cheap (actually the cheapest), young and looking for somewhere to play so to save him feeling left out, I thought why not? 

Number: 189/1000

Price when bought: 0.0005 ETH

Once the under 16's Cludo champion, nothing gets past Yuji when someone gets murdered in the Crispy Schnitzels locker room. Thankfully that hasn't happened yet (and hopefully never does) but he's ready to blame Professor Plum if indeed murder is the case. 

Cho Sang-Jun - FWD

In a similar situation to Yuji above, I bought Cho simply to give me some more options. Like getting to play in the underdog league because none of these boys so far have really had stunning scores in quite some time. 
I'm all about the options and the bargains in this game. 

Number: 146/1000

Price when bought: 0.0005 ETH

According to the highly entertaining Wu Tang name generator, Cho's Wu name is Violent Fighter. Pretty cool hey?

STILL TO COME

Now the more cluey Sorare or soccer buffs on this page may notice I'm short a goalkeeper in this squad. And that's because they seem to be bloody expensive. I've been outbid on a few and the ones I am in contention for are still hours away from finishing. 

Seriously, who is this guy who keeps bidding furiously like this?

So while I'm waiting for that mess to clear, why not put my squad to work...in an underdogs game!

Subbing in for my lack of limited GK at the moment is Shuichi Gonda, on loan from the Fajitas. Yuji players Captain because he's had the best recent score of the lot. And while I'm excited to see how they go, there's a couple of things to note: 

-Because Shuichi is a casual comp player, any score he makes won't count. Okay then.

-To win another Limited card with this squad, I need to place in the top 900. There are over 12000 teams registered so this could be quite the challenge.

-Oh and by playing this weekly challenge, I automatically knock out my Academy team this week. 

Still, we have a bought team (and hopefully a GK to finish it off) - here's to all the massive fame and fortune to come!

THE NEXT MORNING..

The Goal Keeper saga continued overnight, namely you just can't find cheap ones. Well you can in the auctions but they don't stay cheap for very long. And then of course they end up in the Manager Sales for inflated prices after that so you're paying even more if you don't win...sigh.

In the end I had to opt for a non under-23 goal keeper because they were far cheaper. So while I might not be able to play in the Under 23 league for a while, at least I'm fielding a full team now. 

Introducing - The Rocket!

Part of Chicago Fire FC (isn't that a TV show?) Bobby just misses out on the Under 23 cut off...by a solid decade. Still, this 2021 card (which is why it looks different from all the others) now means I can field a full squad. Hooray!

Number: 161/1000

Price when bought: 0.0016 ETH

Despite what the picture shows, Bobby still retains all of his limbs.

Now that we have a team, let the disasters begin!